Surgery, the Double-Edged Sword

They wheeled me into the Operating Room, again more smiles and some hugs too! I kept praying and asking GOD to keep me safe, it is the last thought in my mind and prayer from my lips as I succumbed to the anesthesia. The mantra of the day, GOD please be with me! After surgery, I was gently awakened in the Recovery Room and told my hospital room number. My surgeon told me the initial findings from the node biopsies, the margins were clear, the Cancer was removed. My mind was still in an anesthesia fog, but I remembered that statement with perfect clarity. I saw the flashing lights roll by as I was wheeled to my room, I was thanking GOD, I made it through. By GOD’s grace and mercy, the surgery was successful. Then, I heard that sweet familiar voice, my spouse had arrived. Of course, confirming what the Doctor had told me and wanting to see the effects of the surgery on my body.

Recovery is like a double-edged sword.

The Physical Devastation of a diagnosis of Breast Cancer, for me is going from a 40D to just Chest. I love being a Woman. I miss my girls (Breast)! No, I am not having breast reconstruction, I don’t want to have a place for any cancer to hide, because of the chance of recurrence. I looked at my bandages, and thought, maybe it is not so bad.

Recovery is like a double-edged sword; the physical trauma and emotional rollercoaster is challenging. I was strong and dealing with it head first, but the pain was intense at 4:00 AM. The anesthesia was wearing off, my throat was sore, the JP Drains were painful and clearing my lungs hurt. This fight with Cancer is not for the faint of heart. What I miss the most right now, is not being able to shower and wash the grime away. I love a good warm shower to clean not only my body, but my mind. For me, showering is like being baptized, it’s a true clean, I feel reborn. Right now, I feel like I’m in purgatory, not quite hell, but it’s not heaven either.

Thank you for reading, Michelle, The Computer Lady